Sample chapter ~ meet RFK Jr.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. — Director of Health and Human

Services The Health Disinformation Czar: America's

Anti-Science Aristocrat in a Lab Coat of Lies

“People should not be taking medical advise from me.” RFK -

No shit Sherlock

There are political embarrassments, and then there’s Robert F.

Kennedy Jr.—a man who took the Kennedy legacy, injected it

with horse paste, and called it medicine. If Camelot stood for

courage, conviction, and competence, RFK Jr. stands for

crankery, conspiracies, and catastrophic public health policy.

He’s the MAGA-era Frankenstein: a stitched-together mess of

Instagram pseudoscience, delusional self-righteousness, and

a baritone rasp wasted on lies.

Now, as Secretary of Health and Human Services, he’s proof that we’ve officially lost the plot. This is a man whose résumé reads like a warning label: heroin addiction, family rejection, public misinformation campaigns, and Holocaust comparisons tossed around like party favors. If the role of HHS Secretary is to protect the nation’s health, Bobby Kennedy is its biological hazard.

He didn’t just drink the Kool-Aid—he bottled it, branded it “wellness,” and sold it at Joe Rogan’s merch booth. He’s been kicked off social media platforms, denounced by his own blood, and embraced by the same anti-government zealots who’d sooner take horse dewormer than a flu shot. Yet here he is, dressed in authority, unfit for the job, and unwilling to listen to anyone who doesn’t think Dr. Fauci is the Antichrist.

America's Anti-Science Aristocrat in a Lab Coat of Lies

Once upon a time, the Kennedy name evoked a blend of idealism, intellect, and public service. Now, it conjures up deranged Substack rants, derailed family dinners, and your cousin’s favorite conspiracy theory. Robert F. Kennedy Jr., son of a martyred senator and nephew of a slain president, has decided that his destiny isn’t to uphold their legacy but to soil it in mercury-laced rhetoric and vaccine paranoia.

Now elevated to the role of Director of Health and Human Services under Trump 2.0, RFK Jr. is no longer just a crank with a famous surname. He’s the guy handing out policy directives with one hand while peddling snake oil with the other. He’s the bureaucratic embodiment of "doing your own research" and the first HHS Secretary to actively endanger public health under the banner of protecting it.

RFK Jr. is what happens when America's health agency is led by someone banned from Instagram for spreading medical misinformation. He’s a man whose crusade against vaccines has been denounced by his own family—the same family that once championed science, civil rights, and rational thought.

If credibility were a virus, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. would be the super-spreader.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is not just unqualified—he’s a walking symptom of America’s epidemic of delusion. See ya, Bobby. Wouldn’t want to be ya—or anywhere near your wellness retreat.

See ya, Bobby. Wouldn’t want to be ya—or have you prescribe anything but your own downfall.

What Qualifies Someone for the Role of Secretary of Health and Human Services?

The Secretary of Health and Human Services?

(HHS) leads one of the largest and most complex federal agencies in the U.S. government—responsible for everything from Medicare and Medicaid to public health, pandemic response, drug safety, and biomedical research. Typical qualifications for the role include:

Advanced degrees or extensive experience in public health, medicine, health policy, or law
Executive or administrative leadership experience in large government, nonprofit, or health-related organizations
Proven track record of supporting evidence-based science, health equity, and public health initiatives
Bipartisan credibility and public trust—especially critical in times of crisis
Ability to coordinate with global health partners, the CDC, FDA, NIH, and state health departments

Past HHS secretaries have included

Donna Shalala (former university president, Ph.D. in political science)
Kathleen Sebelius (former governor and insurance commissioner)
Alex Azar (former pharma exec and deputy HHS secretary)
Xavier Becerra (former AG of California with a long legal/policy background in health care law)

Now let’s take a look at what Robert F. Kennedy Jr. brings to the job.

✅ Famous last name
❌ No experience running a major agency
❌ No public health degree
❌ No medical training
❌ No policy leadership in epidemiology, disease control, or health infrastructure
✅ Multiple arrests and public admissions of heroin addiction
❌ Banned from Instagram and YouTube for spreading health misinformation
❌ Compared vaccine mandates to Nazi Germany
✅ Runs an anti-vaccine nonprofit flagged for disinformation
❌ Denounced by his own family for endangering public health
✅ Once claimed a parasitic brain worm might have caused cognitive impairment

In short, RFK Jr. brings the résumé of a podcast guest, not a Cabinet secretary.

If you need someone to run a Substack about how sunscreen causes socialism, he’s your guy. But running the Department of Health and Human Services? That’s like handing a stethoscope to Alex Jones and hoping for universal coverage.

Background

Born: January 17, 1954, Washington, D.C.
Education: Harvard University, University of Virginia School of Law, Pace University (Environmental Law)
Career: Environmental attorney, anti-vaccine crusader, failed presidential candidate (2024, Independent), now Secretary of Health and Human Services (2025–present)
Party: Former Democrat turned Independent turned MAGA-panderer
Reputation: The conspiracy theorist with a Camelot pedigree

From Environmental Advocate to Public Health Menace

Early Career: Gained notoriety as an environmental lawyer at Riverkeeper and NRDC, taking on polluters and becoming a green policy star in the 1990s.
Turn to Pseudoscience: By the 2000s, RFK Jr. pivoted from environmental protection to anti-vaccine activism, alleging mercury in vaccines caused autism—a claim repeatedly and thoroughly debunked.
Children’s Health Defense: Founded the anti-vaccine propaganda machine, spreading misinformation about everything from MMR to COVID shots. Deplatformed by Instagram and YouTube for disinformation.
Pandemic Era Pandering: Aligned with anti-maskers, Q-adjacent influencers, and the "medical freedom" crowd. Compared vaccine mandates to Nazi Germany and claimed Anthony Fauci profited from the pandemic.
Political Opportunism: Ran as an independent in 2024, attacking both parties while courting Joe Rogan, Elon Musk, Steve Bannon, and other alt-right influencers. Lost spectacularly—but earned Trumpworld’s admiration.

Scandals, Grifts, and Self-Sabotage

Family Fractures: His siblings publicly rebuked his anti-vaccine crusade in a 2019 op-ed, calling him "dangerously wrong" and distancing him from the Kennedy legacy.
Drug Use & Legal Trouble: Publicly admitted to years of heroin addiction and multiple arrests in the 1980s. Claimed redemption, but critics note his hypocrisy in calling vaccines a "chemical experiment."
COVID Conspiracies: Called the pandemic "a power grab," accused Bill Gates of implanting tracking chips via vaccines, and claimed 5G towers exacerbated COVID spread.
Big Donor Ties: Despite railing against Big Pharma, RFK Jr.'s campaign took funding from tech billionaires, including those with stakes in alternative medicine and surveillance platforms.
Hypocrisy Hall of Fame: Slams government regulation yet sued the government over censorship. Claims to fight elitism while exploiting his elite name to spread quackery.

Heroin Use and Public Hypocrisy

Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s struggles with heroin addiction are well-documented and span several years of his early adult life. In his 1989 memoir “Framed: Why Michael Skakel Spent Over a Decade in Prison for a Murder He Didn’t Commit”, and in multiple public interviews since, RFK Jr. has admitted to:

Beginning heroin use in his teens after his father’s assassination.
Being arrested at least twice for heroin possession—once in 1983 at Rapid City Regional Airport in South Dakota when he overdosed mid-flight.
Spending time in rehab at multiple facilities, including St. Mary's Rehab in Minnesota.

Despite this deeply personal struggle with chemical addiction, RFK Jr. would later call vaccines “chemical experiments” and “toxins”—projecting his trauma onto public health in a way that’s both ironic and dangerous.

While his recovery is real and his right to speak unquestioned, the hypocrisy is glaring: a man who injected heroin into his own veins now lectures the public on the danger of scientifically tested medical treatments.

The Measles Comeback Tour, Starring RFK Jr.

In what should be a chapter from an Onion satire—but sadly isn’t—America in 2025 is witnessing its worst measles outbreak in 25 years. That’s right: the disease we practically vanquished with a safe, effective vaccine has returned for a comeback tour, thanks to a disinformation campaign that got a major boost from one Robert F. Kennedy Jr.—now somehow in charge of the Department of Health and Human Services. If irony were fatal, we’d need a vaccine for that too.

Let’s be crystal clear: RFK Jr. didn’t just “ask questions” about vaccines. He injected doubt into the public bloodstream with the precision of a sniper—spreading lies, conspiracies, and junk science under the guise of “free speech” and “medical freedom.” For years, Kennedy’s propaganda machine—Children’s Health Defense—waged war against the MMR vaccine, falsely linking it to autism, brain damage, and government overreach.

He co-opted the legacy of his famous family name to launder pseudoscience through a trust-your-gut pipeline, weaponizing distrust of institutions for political gain. The result? Declining vaccination rates, vulnerable children, and school districts scrambling to contain entirely preventable outbreaks.

Now, in 2025, the consequences have detonated like a virus-laced time bomb. Schools are shuttered. Infants are hospitalized. Measles is running wild in communities with vaccination rates that have dropped below herd immunity thresholds. And the man who helped sow the chaos is sitting atop the nation’s public health infrastructure like a wolf lecturing on sheep safety.

RFK Jr. isn’t just part of the problem—he’s the poster child for what happens when anti-science zealotry gets dressed up in a suit and given a government title. His “legacy” isn’t Camelot—it’s contaminated kindergartens and kids in quarantine.

This isn’t a coincidence. It’s the logical conclusion of years spent normalizing fringe theories, platforming quacks, and demonizing one of the most successful public health measures in modern history.

So if you’re wondering how we ended up back in 1990s-style measles hell in 2025, you don’t need to look far. Just follow the trail of misinformation—and you’ll find RFK Jr. at the podium, grinning like Typhoid Mary with a podcast.

Viral Load ~ The Ballad of Bobby the Biohazard

He’s not a doc, not a scholar, not a man of the lab,
But he plays one on podcasts while spewing pure drab.
With a voice like a blender stuck in reverse,
He mumbles out myths and rewrites the universe.

Says vaccines are poison, the science is fake,
That autism’s caused by that MMR bake.
Ignores every journal, every peer-reviewed page,
But trust him—he’s Kennedy, fueled by his rage.

(The rest of this poetic takedown is at the end of this chapter)

Of Course He Had a Brain Worm

If a Hollywood screenwriter pitched the line “a parasitic brain worm made me say all that crazy anti-vax stuff”, they’d be laughed out of the room. But this is the See Ya universe, where reality is drunk, irony is driving, and Robert F. Kennedy Jr. actually admitted that a worm may have eaten part of his brain.

Let’s recap: In a 2012 deposition, RFK Jr. said he suffered from “cognitive problems” due to what doctors believed was a parasitic worm that burrowed into his brain, died there, and left a literal hole. The man now running the Department of Health and Human Services—the top health official in the country—once had a neuro-invasive worm decomposing inside his skull like some kind of QAnon Greek tragedy .

Did it explain the conspiracy theories? The “vaccines cause autism” claims? The belief that Wi-Fi causes cancer and antidepressants cause school shootings? Who’s to say? But the timing lines up like horoscopes in a crystal meth commune. And rather than taking that moment as a cue to step back from public policy, Bobby doubled down and ran for president. Of course he did.

Let’s be honest: the worm didn’t turn RFK Jr. into a public menace. It just gave America a metaphor that bites back. Because if there was a parasite feasting on logic, reason, and science in public discourse, Kennedy didn’t just catch it—he gave it a seat on the CDC advisory board.

Maybe the worm died. But sadly, its legacy lives on in every measles outbreak, every conspiracy-fueled school board meeting, and every desperate Facebook mom who thinks a detox smoothie will save her child from Bill Gates’ nanobots.

Call it satire, call it Shakespearean, or just call it another Tuesday in post-truth America. But here’s one thing we now know with certainty:

When RFK Jr. says something makes no sense… he might literally mean it.

Ode to the Worm Who Knew Too Much

Deep in the dome of a Kennedy’s head,
A worm made a nest, then promptly dropped dead.
Did it feast on the truth? Did it nibble on facts?
Or just choke on a diet of YouTube and quacks?

No stethoscope heard its last little cry,
No neurologist asked, “Was that QAnon’s guy?”
It tunneled through cortex, then bailed with a twitch,
Leaving Bobby to glitch like a Fox Nation snitch.

But oh, little worm, we give you your due—
You saw what he thought, and still tried to chew.
A martyr to madness, a parasite saint,
You died in the war on logic and restraint.

So here’s to the worm, now dust in the brain—
A tragic escapee from the RFK train.
If only you’d warned us with one dying shout:
“He’s gonna run HHS—somebody get out!”

Quotes, Quackery & Contradictions

“Even in Hitler's Germany, you could hide in an attic.” — Comparing vaccine mandates to the Holocaust.
“There is no pandemic exception to the First Amendment.” — While promoting mask refusal.
“Vaccines are an experiment on black and brown children.” — Dangerous rhetoric rejected by public health leaders.
“Anthony Fauci is a sociopath.” — Spoken during a campaign event in 2023.

Key Statements & Missteps on Measles

1. Mixed Messaging on Vaccine Efficacy

Airing on Fox News, RFK Jr. said:

“When you and I were kids, everybody got measles… The vaccine doesn’t do that [provide lifetime immunity]… it wanes.”
He cast doubt on vaccine durability—despite CDC confirming MMR is “much safer than getting measles” and providing long-term immunity Vanity Fair+15Pulmonology Advisor+15The Times+15Wikipedia.

2. Measles Treatment Advocacy

RFK Jr. praised off-label treatments like budesonide, clarithromycin, vitamin A, and cod-liver oil as “effective” or “almost miraculous” for measles CBS News+1Wikipedia+1.
Public health experts warned: there’s no antiviral cure, and some promoted treatments are unverified or dangerous .

3. Wavering Position on MMR Vaccine

Amid criticism, RFK Jr. later clarified:

“The most effective way to prevent the spread of measles is the MMR vaccine.” The Daily Beast+15STAT+15FactCheck.org+15
This earned backlash from anti-vaccine allies, who labeled him a "sell-out" New York Post+5The Cut+5Axios+5.

4. Downplaying Outbreak Severity

In February, he referred to the measles outbreak as “not unusual,” noting four outbreaks this year vs. 16 last year, and incorrectly claimed hospitalizations were for quarantine Wikipedia+1Wikipedia+1.
Public health experts sharply criticized this as misleading The Cut+3The Guardian+3Pulmonology Advisor+3.

5. Questioning His Own Medical Authority

In Congressional testimony, he notably stated:

“People should not be taking medical advice from me.”
This moment underscored a paradox: as HHS Secretary, he professed concern over public health guidance The Economic Times.

6. Criticism from Health Officials

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer accused him of undermining vaccine confidence and mishandling the crisis in Texas—highlighting cuts to immunization advisory panels and significant public health funding The Cut+4The Daily Beast+4FactCheck.org+4.
Pediatric experts also criticized his delay in issuing CDC guidance during escalating outbreaks The Cut+1The Daily Beast+1.

Summary Snapshot

1. Statement

2. Takeaway

1. Vaccine immunity “wanes”

2. Undermines confidence in MMR efficacy

Promotes off-label treatments

Spreads pseudoscience during outbreak

Endorsed MMR later

Too little, too late; drew anti-vax backlash

Downplayed outbreak severity

Contradicts CDC metrics and expert warnings

1. “Don’t take advice from me"

2. Raises questions about leadership credibility

Attacked by Schumer & experts

Amid urgent calls for science-driven response

Analsys

RFK Jr.'s record on measles reflects a tug-of-war between his lingering skepticism—and short attention to public health norms—and reactive alignment with mainstream science under public pressure. While he ultimately endorsed the MMR vaccine, his earlier comments, therapeutic endorsements, and delayed response eroded public trust precisely during a dangerous health crisis.

Why He’s a “Wouldn’t Want to Be Ya”

RFK Jr. has traded science for spectacle, reason for rage, and facts for Facebook fame. From opioid abuse to vaccine disinformation to his current role in dismantling health policy from within, he represents everything wrong with celebrity politics and pseudoscience power grabs.

See ya, Bobby. Wouldn’t want to be ya—or anyone relying on you to protect their health.

Reader’s Choice “See Ya” Goodbye Lines for RFK Jr.

You’ve read the snake oil pitches, dodged the viral disinfo, and survived the cringe of a Kennedy comparing vaccines to Nazis. Now it’s time to choose your favorite RFK Jr. send-off. Pick the one that burns brightest—or use all four. Just like his policy positions, you don’t have to make sense to commit.

See ya, Bobby—may your next wellness retreat come with a reality check and less Wi-Fi.
Wouldn’t want to be ya—unless I was launching a Goop knockoff for paranoid Boomers.
So long, Vaccine Van Helsing—may your garlic necklace protect you from facts.
Bye now, Heroin Hypocrite—your medical advice belongs in a Reddit thread, not a Cabinet role.

Poetic Take down:

The Quack in Camelot

He came from the bloodline of heroes and dreams,

Now he bathes in the echo of YouTube extremes.

Once an attorney with rivers to save,

Now just a spokesman for the misinformed brave.

You called masks a muzzle, called mandates a crime,

While peddling poison in patriot rhyme.

You mocked the immune and shamed the aware,

Then swam in applause from those too scared to care.

You once took a needle for heroin’s thrill,

Now you shame the sick who seek not to kill.

You claim you're a martyr, a truth-teller, bold,

But you're just selling snake oil in a family of gold.

You sue the state, then seek its embrace,

Decrying Big Pharma with a billionaire's face.

You said Fauci's a monster, the pandemic a plan,

Yet you dined with despots and sold it to man.

You invoke the Holocaust with rhetorical ease,

While spreading disinfo like a viral disease.

A Kennedy name on a Fox News scroll,

With Alex Jones cackling, you've bartered your soul.

So go ahead, Bobby, collect your applause,

From flat-earthers, zealots, and anti-vax laws.

The legacy’s burned, the pedestal cracked—

You’re not a rebel. You’re just anti-fact.

See ya, Bobby. Wouldn’t want to be ya— Unless I was auditioning to be Surgeon General in a plague of stupidity.

Hey, this guy deserves two of these!

The Hypocrite Healer

You claim you're a savior with liberty's sword,

But your science is twisted, your facts self-ignored.

From clean water warrior to vaccine alarm,

You swapped truth for toxins and traded your charm.

You rail against mandates with theatrical flair,

Then prop up a tyrant who governs by scare.

You bash Big Pharma with populist sneers,

While courting their rivals and billionaire peers.

You call Fauci a traitor, call masks a disguise,

You measure your power in QAnon lies.

A Kennedy crest with a grifter's disguise,

You bathe in attention while the nation sickens and dies.

You're a man with a past filled with needles and shame,

Yet judge those who seek to avoid viral pain.

Your voice may still tremble, but your message is clear:

Fearmongering pays in the age of fear.

So go sell your supplements, go pitch your next book,

While doctors and nurses give you the look.

You’re the healer from hell, with a cabinet seat,

Turning science into scandal with every deceit.

So see ya, Bobby. Enjoy your decline.

You're not curing a nation—just selling the line.

Or Three!

Viral Load ~ The Ballad of Bobby the Biohazard

Says vaccines are poison, the science is fake,
That autism’s caused by that MMR bake.
Ignores every journal, every peer-reviewed page,
But trust him—he’s Kennedy, fueled by his rage.

He weaponized “wellness” for power and clout,
Sold snake oil in speeches, let logic bleed out.
And now kids are coughing in ICU beds,
Because Bobby chose clout over children’s poor heads.

He parades as a savior, a rebel, a sage,
While measles breaks out on the elementary stage.
A virus with legs is less deadly, by far,
Than Bobby with Twitter and a microphone bar.

He dines with deniers, he bathes in deceit,
Turns public health warnings to online defeat.
And now he’s the boss of the nation’s HC,
As irony flatlines on cable TV.

So raise a syringe and a skeptical brow—
The lunatics aren’t just running things now,
They’re licensing plague with a red, white, and blue—
And Patient Zero just might be RFK Jr.

Source Citations for Heroin Use:

Rolling Stone, 1989 – “Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Admits to Heroin Addiction”
The Guardian, 2023 – “RFK Jr. Opens Up About Drug Use, Vaccine Beliefs in Memoir”
New York Times, 1990 – “Kennedy's Drug Arrest and Recovery Detailed in Court Records”

Endnotes and References

RFK Jr. appointed Secretary of Health and Human Services — Politico, Jan. 2025
Instagram bans RFK Jr. for COVID misinformation — CNN, Feb. 2021
Kennedy siblings denounce RFK Jr. over vaccines — New York Times, Dec. 2019
RFK Jr. admits heroin addiction in memoir and interviews — Rolling Stone, 1989; Guardian, 2023; NYT, 1990
Children’s Health Defense deplatformed for vaccine disinformation — NPR, Sept. 2022
RFK Jr. compares vaccine mandates to Holocaust — Washington Post, Jan. 2022
RFK Jr. calls Anthony Fauci a sociopath during 2023 campaign event — Axios, March 2023
2024 Presidential run ends in chaos, third-party failure — Axios, Nov. 2024
RFK Jr. under fire for racially charged vaccine comments — NBC News, July 2023
5G conspiracy and COVID claims tied to RFK Jr. interviews — The Atlantic, Oct. 2021
Children’s Health Defense lawsuits and censorship claims — Reuters, 2023
RFK Jr.’s campaign donors include tech and supplement magnates — Forbes, May 2024

Additional Endnotes / References

“The Real RFK Jr.: His Anti-Vaccine Disinformation and the Damage It’s Caused.” The New York Times, July 2023.
“Children’s Health Defense Spreads Misinformation About MMR Vaccine.” Center for Countering Digital Hate, 2021.
“Measles Cases Surge as Vaccination Rates Drop in Wake of Anti-Vax Campaigns.” CDC Weekly Report, May 2025.
“Experts Link Measles Outbreaks to Online Disinformation.” NPR, April 2025.

Even more .. Endnotes / References

“RFK Jr. Said a Parasite ‘Ate Part of His Brain.’” , May 8, 2024.
Kennedy, Robert F. Jr. Deposition Transcript. Case 653514/2010, NY Supreme Court.
“Parasite in Brain? RFK Jr.’s Stunning Claim Sparks Alarm—and Memes.” , May 2024.
“RFK Jr. and the Brain Worm: Medical Experts Weigh In.” , May 10, 2024.

Endnotes & References Coverage:

✔ Vaccine Disinformation & Social Media Bans
– Covered via CNN, NPR, NYT, and CCDH sources
✔ Family Denunciation
– NYT 2019 Op-Ed denouncing RFK Jr.’s anti-vax crusade
✔ Heroin Addiction & Legal Troubles
– Rolling Stone, Guardian, and NYT court records fully cited
✔ Measles Outbreaks & Vaccine Undermining
– CDC, NPR, Pulmonology Advisor, and multiple fact-checking orgs (STAT, The Cut, Vanity Fair)
✔ Brain Worm Claim
– NYT deposition, STAT News, Rolling Stone
✔ Quotes & Contradictions
– Direct quotes from RFK Jr. sourced and matched with public statements/interviews/testimony
✔ Children’s Health Defense & Misinformation Lawsuits
– Reuters, Center for Countering Digital Hate (CCDH), and internal filings
✔ Political Shift & MAGA Alignment
– Axios 2024 campaign coverage, Forbes donor reporting